Parenting

  When your 4-year-old shows you the picture she drew and you have no idea what it is, you say, 'wow! That looks wonderful1" It's an obvious lie to us because all we see is scribbles, but we want her to feel good about her drawing, so we praise. This is called an evaluative praise. Although this seems like a great thing to do, your child isn't learning anything from it, and they may or may not even believe you. We are better off to use descriptive praises. So, instead, you could say, 'I love the way you used different colors. It seems like you were trying to draw a happy picture, and the colors helped you do that!  If you give details, your child learns and believes you! When you pick your kids up for practice, rather than saying 'you did great today!' you can say 'I noticed that you worked really hard today. When your coach told you to run 5 laps, you do it without hesitation and you pushed through even though I could tell you were getting tired.' ...

 There are 4 different parenting styles which John Gottman outlines:  1. Authoritarian (Disapproving) 2. Authoritative (Emotion Coaching) 3. Permissive (Laissez-faire) 4. Neglecting (Dismissive) Dismissive parenting is rejecting a child's emotions. It is saying, "You don't really hate your brother." or "But you love pizza!" We have to remember that children are sensitive and their emotions matter. When we dismiss their feelings, they will learn to hide them and bottle them up rather than express them. Disapproving is having high expectations and being hard on the child when they don't meet those expectations. These children will feel shame and guilt. Laissez-faire is when a parent accepts their feelings, but they don't give them the tools needed to cope with them. The Emotion Coaching is where we want to be! It's both loving our children and having expectations. So how do you emotion coach? Emotional Awareness Connecting Listening Naming Emotions...

  Do you ever feel like the harder you try, the more your children rebel? Sometimes we spend so much time criticizing our children to stop their bad behaviors, that we forget the whole point! We love them and want the best for them. When we repeatedly nag or threaten, they won't want to change their ways. This can be absolutely exhausting. But you're in luck! I'm gonna teach you 5 steps of the parenting pyramid that will help you when raising a family can be so difficult.  At the foundation of it all is our personal way of being. What's your character? Who are you and how do you see others around you? If your intentions are not good, your children will sense it and they won't want to listen to you. The 2nd section of the pyramid is the relationship between husband and wife. Children perceive much more than we realize. If there is Contention between the two of you, or disconnect at all, children will pick up on it. The 3rd section is parent/child relationship. Are yo...